rhp13

Time, the creature of mindless uncertanty. Only time will tell, only time will tell. time, can be cruel, time can be drawling. Time can give wisdom, time can give pain. Time can be the bitch that eats u up with misery, but time can also bring the healing needed to move on. only time will tell what the furture holds

The one thing I feared most came true, because of  me. In my fear I shoved you away, now you're leaving me for good. I never ment to fail you, I never ment to hurt you. But now, you leaving me, is what hurts the most. I can take Im not good enough, I can take you saying Im worthless as shit. You've never said that to me, but I can handle it. what I cant handle, is you saying goodbye. Even when you leave you are sweet. But it is tormenting me inside. Its taking my organs, and twisting them til I scream with pain. What I feared most came true, all because, of my insecurities and studity. Please, don't say good bye. Because its killing me inside

I lay, dreaming of once was. How when I was little I was happy, how everything was gonna be ok. Now, i just feel pain, and every happiness i feel, is swiftly carried away on chariots of fire, singeing me as i hopelessly grasp for it. I now  know though, nothing will be ok. There will be no one to hold me through the night, no one to say, i love you it'll be ok. I find it rather sad, how you came long, and made me believe.Now, I know, I'm fucked. I remember eminem's words" now hush little baby don't you cry, everythings gonna be alright, stiffen that up daddys here to hold you through the night."(mockingbird, eminem) And I wonder, who's here t

The blood is coursing through my veins, I sit and stare. Stare, at all the old slices. Oh friend old friend. You may not heal, but you do numb. Ive fucked up big, and now she's forever gone to me. I see every old scar, I see every reason why I cut. She died, I was betrayed, everyone ditching me, etc. I see it all like a film, flash before my eyes. And I cry, i feel cold, I feel dead inside. Why, oh why must I be so insecure. Why couldnt I just trust you. Give me a drink, I need to wet my wistle. Goddamn it!!! I need to end it, I sit, vodka on one side, knife on other, lighter in hand. Please just make the pain disappear, even if its only for

I fucked up big, I destroyed the one good thing I had. Why must I be so insecure, why must I be so afraid to trust. Im sorry, Im so sorry. Please please please forgive. I never wanted to be this way, I never ment to hurt you. I never ment to fail you as a boy friend so bad. I love you, I swear I do. Fuck, Im so fucked up. Please dont judge me, please dont ditch me becuase of this. I know I hurt you, and that kills me inside more than all my insecurities. I never ment to hurt you, I never ment to be this way. Please please forgive. Im sorry, im sorry. Please please forgive. I never ment to hurt you girl, I never ment to fuck up this big. Im so

I feel cold inside, like I'm dying. Slow and agonizing, with every breath, Im losing her, Im losing her, Rei Im so sorry i failed you  so bad. I wanna take care of u, but I cant. You dont speak to me, I feel it in my bones, I feel deep down, Im losing you. And its suffocating me, I struggle to forget and wash away my insecurity, but this has always been how it has happened. I hope for once itll change, but I can feel it, I losing u, every passing day. Please, end it now, and put my misery to its fullest, so i may grown used to it again, no matter how much it destroys me inside

Bitch you ran me into the ground, you kicked my while I was down. You never cared you never loved, you never were willing to give me a chance. But what goes around comes around, you'll get your just reward. Yall, never loved me. You saw what I deal with with, you saw my pain, and it ment nothing to you. Yes people go through shit, yes everyone hurts. You wanna kno my shit, lets see hoe much you really care. My parents always think I'm a fucking retard, they always tell me what a dissappointment I am. They've never said Im proud of you, They always say I'm gonna fail. Im the reject of my school, the reject of everyone. I have always been rejec

I'm stumbling, can't keep my head up. Trudging, through a field of nothingness. I stare acros the sky, the field never ends. Wildebeast attack me left and right, ripping chunkcs out my flesh. Where is someone to help? No one will come, no one. I know the dirt on me, and now you know it to. So why do you judge me on this shit, and abonson me in this field. You don't understand what the fuck Ive been through. I know how much I mean, and every day it becomes that much more prevalent. I am a bum, I am worthless, I'm piece of fucking white trash and im proud of it. These are all who I am,you don't like it, blow me. Fine I'll be fine, leave me to r

You say you care, you say you'll never leave. but once I open up and start to give myself to you. You ditch me like a bad habit. It happens this way everytime, with every girl I know. It's become the inevitable. I can't see why, I try to show you I love you, I try and show I am here for you. But you motherfuckers act like you forgot about me. When really, all your doing is rejecting me. Like I am worthless shit, like I am to fucked up to be worth your time. You open up to me, you share everything. Then suddenly you drop me, like a bad habit. You motherfuckers, act like you forgot about me. I see the truth in your eyes, I'll never measure up.

I tinker, on frail wings of sanity. I'm losing my mind, every pain destroying me. All these demons, that have spawned in my brain. Sitting on the back of my eyes, proding them with hot pokers. My sanity, waining so lightly. I'm ready to collapse, break under their wait. They haunt and taunt me. Screaming die fucker die! I scream, please stop, please leave me be. They persist, destroying my essence. Leaving me one step closer to breaking. I cry, please leave me be. But they only laugh, consuming my soul, til i become the thing I hate. Ahhhhhh!!!! My agony, leaving me so distorted and miserable I can't think. I need this to end, I need relief.